Hi Baby,
Just when I was tucking your baby sister in, I could not help but think to myself that I was so lucky that you are my firstborn. You are a brat with the most mischievous air about you, undoubtedly, but you also have the purest heart. You are so compassionate and so kind, so joyful and always ready to spread smiles. How you came to be such an enigma, I will never know. But one thing I know for sure is that I hit the jackpot with you.
Tonight, after I put your baby sister to sleep, I gave you my undivided attention. It was just ten minutes in a day that I am able to give you with no interruptions but you accept it with a full heart and oh so much love. How do you that! How do you forget that earlier that day, I threatened to throw all your toys out and I had denied you a snack you so loved? How do you overlook the fact that sometimes when we are alone, the three of us, I attend to the baby first and ask you to wait for another five minutes while you complain of hunger? How is it that even after I have been a crabby mom some day and have not indulged you in any activity you like, you have the most kisses to give me in the night before saying good night? Your heart and mind amazes me. I am in awe of you, your mindfulness, your sincerity and your honesty.
Every evening when you are hungry, I make sure to whip up your favorite supper and I know you notice that because that is when you go all out to entertain your baby sister so that your mumma is exclusively doing something for you for those 15 minutes. I am glad that every single time I tell you that the baby is up from her nap, you leave everything you are doing to come coddle her. I cannot wait for the baby to grow up so you two can be naughty and mischievous together. I will be honest, I do not need you to be the big sister. I don’t want you to be the voice of reason or someone who schools her siblings. I want you two to be tight, thick buddies. No matter how much I tell you now that you have to help me look after your little sister, she is your companion for the future, not your responsibility. But yes, I do need your help getting through the first years and I know you and I make a pretty good team.
I know you have been on your own a lot lately and I hate myself for it but your little sibling needs more nurturing and looking after than you ever did. All those conversations we had before the baby was born, about being independent and doing things your way seem to be coming true now. Although I never wanted them to be true. I never wanted you to stop wanting me or stop depending on me for the smallest of chores. But the inevitable is happening, you are finding yourself, you are discovering the joy of doing things on your own and it is exciting to you. I love that after you have accomplished a task, the first person you want to boast about it to is me. In a way, it shows me that you will never stop wanting me. And that is solace enough. For now.
Keep going to your papa for those lengthy never-ending story sessions. No matter how adorable the new baby is, he always prioritizes you over everything else. I will be lying if I said that I am not jealous of the fun you two have but it also fills my heart with joy. You are a daddy’s girl through and through. And it so does not help my case that you look like a mini version of him. Good for me though, because both you kids look so much like him, I get to see the face I love all around me in a home filled with love, laughter and madness.
I have so much more to say to you but I’m lost for words. You will always be my special one, my happy squealy baby. Do not let go of that beautiful heart you have and that amazing attitude you have that you get so strikingly from your dad. Your father and me, we lucked out with you. You are our world!
Marvelous Mrs D 